Today I woke up wanting nothing more than to make a big pot of hearty split pea soup. Now, as much as I love it, I don’t make it more than twice a year. It’s delicious, satisfying and great for leftovers but OMG the gas it produces is outrageous. I bet if someone lights up a match at this household tonight we’re all doomed!

I made this batch on the slow cooker with mini hotdogs from Trader Joe’s (all beef, no nitrates, uncured) instead of the usual ham hock or bacon. Add some key spices (turmeric+mustard+oregano+white pepper+bayleaf), some drops of liquid smoke (totally optional) and you have the most fart worthy pea soup ever!

Start by setting up the slow cook for 3-5 hours on high. Diced and saute a medium onion on 1 tsp of olive oil.

Place one package of mini hot dogs (OR the smoke meat of your preference OR no meat for a vegetarian version) and sauteed onions in the slow cooker.

Add one box of chicken or beef broth (1 QT). Fill up the empty box with water and add to the mix. If you like your split pea soup on the thicker side add only half of the water.

Next add the 1lb package of rinsed split peas and 1/4 teaspoon of turmeric, oregano, white pepper, mustard; 3 small bayleaves; 1 1/2 tablespoon of salt; 3 drops of liquid smoke (optional); also optional 1 tablespoon of Blackstrap molasses (I put this black-sticky-full of nutrients syrup on just about everything.)

Cover and cook on high 4 to 5 hours or 8 to 10 hours on low until peas are mushy.